your room smells of hookers.
And success
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
