Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
