i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
