I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
