C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
