Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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