I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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