would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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