Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
