is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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