You're my little dorito
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
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mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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