I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
