i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
