Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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