i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
