I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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