Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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