Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
