do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
