Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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