***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
