Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Randomize
