Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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