I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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