sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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