Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
