you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
