Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I supernannyed him into submission
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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