my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
