Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
