STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
