the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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