he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
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the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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