I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
