i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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