Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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