marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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