Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
