I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
he thought i was a dude.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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