we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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