Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
