I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
