We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
