apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
