This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
