WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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