Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
