I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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