I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
then he tried to convert me to islam
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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