even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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