Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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