Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
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