I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
