i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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