Got a toothbrush?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
