We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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