so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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