You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
